Find Your Spark Again this Valentine's Day

Whilst our children are our pride and joy, the late nights, endless amounts of laundry and the never-ending school runs often take focus away from our relationship and romance is probably the last thing on your mind. But it's easy to find your spark again, it just takes a little effort and some prioritising of your time as a couple!

Remember, the foundation of your family began with your relationship and it’s important that priority is placed on maintaining your love for one another, at least some of the time. Here are a few tips for rekindling the flame and giving your relationship the boost it deserves, on Valentine's day and beyond!

Prioritising ‘Us’ Time

Scheduling some time alone with just yourself and your partner may seem impossible at first but is beneficial in the long run and the first step to find your spark again. Plan a regular date night, whether that be going out for dinner, watching a film together or having a games night. Take some time each month to remind yourselves why you fell in love and got together in the first place. You can even find some time after the children have gone to bed by sitting down and having a catch-up with a nice cup of tea.

Show Appreciation

The little things can mean a lot to your partner during the whirlwind of parenting. A simple compliment or a heartfelt gesture can make your partner feel valued and appreciated. A little ‘thank you’ after making dinner or taking out the rubbish is a simple expression of gratitude that can go a long way in making your partner feel appreciated in the family.

Little tokens of appreciation also go a long way; they don’t have to be expensive, just something meaningful to show that you’re thinking of them.

The occasional bouquet of flowers or a handwritten card can remind your partner that you appreciate them beyond the day-to-day parenting routine.

Create or Revisit Old Hobbies

The free time you and your partner used to have before having children was bound to be full of exciting hobbies. Whilst parenthood often leaves little time for these activities, it is still good to remember how you fell in love the first time. Did you used to spend time baking together, going on a park run or even going on the occasional shopping trip? You could even create new hobbies; maybe go see the latest film at the cinemas or try a new restaurant each month. Revisiting these old interests and/or creating new ones can help strengthen your bond and bring some fun back into the relationship.

Get Physical

Distance between you and your partner can quickly become apparent when you’re too busy taking care of your children. If you want to find the spark again then being physical with each other is a powerful way to rekindle what brought you together in the first place. Holding hands, a kiss before bed and a hug when they get home from work are easy ways to enhance and maintain the bond you initially created. Initiating small moments of affection can help reignite the bond that may have been lost along the parenthood journey.

Learn About Your Love Languages

According to research by Dr. Gary Chapman each of us demonstrates our love in one of five preferred ways: acts of service; words of affirmation; receiving gifts; quality time and physical touch - and we like to receive reassurance that we're loved and appreciated in similar ways that we instinctively understand. By learning more about your love languages, you can fine tune your relationship and notice signs of love and appreciation that you might not have noticed. You can also do more of the little things that your partner appreciates to strengthen the bond. You can take a simple test to find out your love language here.

The dynamics of your relationship may have naturally shifted since becoming parents, but this doesn’t have to diminish the love you have for one another. By prioritising your relationship and making time for each other you can maintain that bond even in the busy life of parenthood. Remember that a happy and healthy relationship provides a solid foundation for your children to grow up in. 

As your love thrives, so will your family.